RS/These streets are in your marrow

[thegentlemanthug]

After he pulls the man from the river, Ben feels uneasy in his mind, moreso than when he was first lucid after his beating. He had the opportunity to know his past, and he walked away. He is a coward as well as a friend to wretches.

He is returning from an errand in town for the dockmaster, his face apparently trustworthy despite his lack of memory, when he realises he has gone too far on the underground railway. He gets off at the wrong stop and means to return immediately to the right one, except that he knows this place. He knows it deeply and strongly, calling to him with a strong sense of who he is.

Either he can ignore it once more or he can follow it, step out from under this cowardice and learn something of who he is. And maybe he can find out the fate of that drowned man, learn something of him, know his pain and soothe it.

He lets his feet take him where they will, trying to follow his gut and not his better sense. He feels the familiarity in the streets, recognising a street sign there, a flower seller there, and his pace quickens as he draws towards somewhere he knows must be home.

The door calls to him and he runs to it, knocking hard on the wood before he can stop himself.

It opens on an older lady in an apron and, before she can speak, he tears his hat from his head and starts trying to explain himself.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, madam, but I had the strangest feeling I ought to come here today."

Comments

[thegentlemanthug]

Ben tries to make sense of what she's saying, recognising her expression if not her face. His head pounds with it, but if he has truly found his place, he must have more answers.

"The jacket," he says, freeing one hand to reach for it. "Whose is it?"

[thirstforvice]

Mrs Ramsay's face falls, letting Bennet go at last to let him reach for the Captain's jacket.

"Your Captain," she tries to explain. "Matthew, to you. He's... he told me you were alive. Said you'd saved him from the river. They put him in that awful asylum for saying so."

[thegentlemanthug]

Ben's stomach falls and he feels terribly sick, light-headed.

"Dark hair, American..."

[thirstforvice]

"That's the one," Mrs Ramsay nods.

"Did you... save him? From the water?"

[thegentlemanthug]

"Yes," he says, suddenly ashamed.

"But I left him there. I...I didn't want to know who I was. If I was...good."

[thirstforvice]

"You're a police Sergeant," Mrs Ramsay points out. "You're one of the best."

Her eyes pay close attention to Bennet, and the Captain's coat. "Would you... they put him in the asylum, for thinking he saw you. Would you come with me, to visit him? Show that he wasn't dreaming you?"

[thegentlemanthug]

Something about the coat under his hands stirs a memory, slipping the jacket over a man's shoulders, smoothing it down - a kiss, goodbye perhaps? He does not know, and the memories are dizzying, confusing.

"He lives here? With me?" he says, trying to understand.

[thirstforvice]

Mrs Ramsay nods. Normally so happy to tease the pair of them and make her bawdy comments, she realises that now is not the time. Not when the Sergeant is without his memories.

"That's the measure of it. Unconventional, some might say, but I don't see the problem. You love who you love, no matter whether they be man or woman. And God knows you two love each other something fierce."

[thegentlemanthug]

"And I left him there..."

Ben raises himself to his full height and drops the jacket.

"We need to bring him home. Right now."

[thirstforvice]

"I'll send for a cab," Mrs Ramsay promises, before directing the Sergeant in the direction of the staircase.

"Go up there, while you wait. The first door on the left's your room. See if it brings any more memories back." If the Captain's jacket had had that much of an effect, maybe a whole room of their possessions may prove fruitful.

[thegentlemanthug]

Ben climbs the stairs, reluctantly, almost afraid of what he might see.

He pushes open the door and the smell hits him, one he faintly recognises as his own and another that speaks of home, love, lust--

The headboard, a man pressed against it, head thrown back and groaning his pleasure, sweat-slick skin and damp black hair...

Bennet Drake gasps, suddenly back in the room, in his life.

He knows his name. He knows his lover. That is all he needs.

[thirstforvice]

As well as calling for a cab, Mrs Ramsay has the foresight to get a message sent direct to Leman Street, hoping that the Inspector has yet to leave for the night. She hopes that reuniting the Captain and his Sergeant will prove a good thing, but she must exercise a dash of realism. If things do not go according to plan, she has no strength against two fully grown men.

She will need Inspector Reid's help.

"When you're ready, Sergeant!" she calls up the stairs as the cab approaches the front door. "Our transport is here!"

[thegentlemanthug]

Ben shrugs off his old docker's jacket and pulls on one that looks like it might fit him, swapping his flat cap for one of the smart ones hanging up. He wishes he had time to make himself more presentable, but his doctor is his priority not clothes.

Doctor. Did he know that before? Ben holds on to the piece of information, savouring it, and races down the stairs to the waiting cab.

[thirstforvice]

Mrs Ramsay fusses over the Sergeant the entire way to the asylum, taking his hands in hers only to drop them so she can brush invisible dust from his jacket, or knee, then taking his hands again.

"We all thought you were dead..." she apologises for her own behaviour, though she doesn't stop her fussing one bit. "We were all so sure. Apart from the Captain. He never stopped believing, and now look where he is, poor soul."

[thegentlemanthug]

"I did that to him," Ben says in a low voice, the face in his mind not quite clear but the feeling strong in his chest.

"Will he forgive me?"

[thirstforvice]

"You can't help having no memories, dear," Mrs Ramsay reassures him, but her smile turns sad. "It's the rest of us what refused to believe him."

The carriage slows, before they stop at their destination. Bundling the Sergeant out of the carriage, Mrs Ramsay hands over coins to the driver before leading the way up the steps. At the top, she can see the Inspector, already waiting for them.

[thegentlemanthug]

Ben hesitates on the steps, sure he knows the man at the top. He walks slower, urging his mind to remember, but it doesn't.

He awkwardly holds out his hand to the man. "Evening."

[thirstforvice]

Reid wasn't sure what he had been expecting of this reunion, and so figures a hand shake is as good a hello as any.

"Sergeant," he greets, his hand firm around Bennet's. "Bennet. Do you... do you know who I am?"

[thegentlemanthug]

By the way the man greets him, Ben thinks he must be his superior - and Mrs Ramsay had referred to him Inspector earlier. But he cannot lie and he sadly shakes his head.

"No, sir - I do not."

Suddenly, his heart seizes with panic. What if he doesn't know the man he loves? What if he does more harm than good by coming here?

[thirstforvice]

Reid nods, expecting as much from the greeting.

"I am... Inspector Reid. Edmund. We are colleagues, you and I. At H Division, Leman Street. The man within these walls works with us, too."

[thegentlemanthug]

The name sparks a memory and Ben nods as he hears what the man has to say.

He's about to name Matthew, prove he knows something of his life, but something stops him. That is not the name they use between them. Which confuses him all the more.

"We should see him?" he asks.

[thirstforvice]

"Yes," Reid agrees.

"Though..." he wonders how much of Jackson Bennet remembers. "You must be aware that he is not well."

[thegentlemanthug]

"He'll be much better for seeing his Sergeant," Mrs Ramsay says firmly.

Ben agrees that he cannot wait a moment longer and steps towards the door of the asylum.

They have not moved much beyond the corridor when they are greeted by a balding man with a pair of spectacles balanced on his hook-like nose. "It is far too late for visitors, Inspector."

[thirstforvice]

"Ah, but you see..." Reid steps aside, revealing Bennet to Jackson's physician.

"We have found him. Sergeant Drake. The man the Captain believed he hallucinated. We are come to show him he was right."

[thegentlemanthug]

The alienist looks like he wants to all Reid mad also, but then seems to concede he may be telling the truth.

"You cannot just present him. It must be carefully considered - the shock could be very alarming to his fragile nerves. Come back tomorrow and we will make plans."

But Bennet will not hear of tomorrow. He will not leave his lover in his place one moment longer.

Without a word, he moves away, heading down the corridor in search of his Matthew.