RS/These streets are in your marrow

[thegentlemanthug]

After he pulls the man from the river, Ben feels uneasy in his mind, moreso than when he was first lucid after his beating. He had the opportunity to know his past, and he walked away. He is a coward as well as a friend to wretches.

He is returning from an errand in town for the dockmaster, his face apparently trustworthy despite his lack of memory, when he realises he has gone too far on the underground railway. He gets off at the wrong stop and means to return immediately to the right one, except that he knows this place. He knows it deeply and strongly, calling to him with a strong sense of who he is.

Either he can ignore it once more or he can follow it, step out from under this cowardice and learn something of who he is. And maybe he can find out the fate of that drowned man, learn something of him, know his pain and soothe it.

He lets his feet take him where they will, trying to follow his gut and not his better sense. He feels the familiarity in the streets, recognising a street sign there, a flower seller there, and his pace quickens as he draws towards somewhere he knows must be home.

The door calls to him and he runs to it, knocking hard on the wood before he can stop himself.

It opens on an older lady in an apron and, before she can speak, he tears his hat from his head and starts trying to explain himself.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, madam, but I had the strangest feeling I ought to come here today."

Comments

[thirstforvice]

Bennet knows the way to their bedroom without prompting, and Matthew is pleased to find that he is carried to his own side of the bed as well. Some memories run deep, it would seem.

"Did Mrs Ramsay..." he starts to ask, before noticing the bottle already laid out on the bedside table. Yes, she had brought the laudanum from the hospital. Good. "Never mind."

[thegentlemanthug]

"Is there something you need?" Bennet asks, looking about for his lover's nightshirt and, finding none, heading for the drawers.

[thirstforvice]

Matthew is content to sleep naked, as he usually does. If things had gone differently, he would have had more concern for his modesty, but he has already kissed his lover and shared a bath with him. He has nothing to hide, and he's not cold.

"No," he tries to reassure. "I've got everything I need. Come to bed?"

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet is not self-conscious as he gets into bed beside Matthew.

But once he's under the bedclothes, he isn't sure what to do, suddenly shy.

[thirstforvice]

Knowing that he must act as if this is any other night, to help Bennet's memories come back to him, Matthew moves himself closer. It's difficult to find their normal sleeping position when Bennet is not performing his half of the dance, but he still manages to curl himself into his lover's side.

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet lies back on the pillows, an arm around his lover to hold him close.

"Your leg's not hurtin' like that?"

[thirstforvice]

Matthew's leg plagues him constantly and, yes, it does hurt, but the heat of the bathwater has soothed it. He would suffer far worse, anyhow, to be back safe in Bennet's arms like this.

"I've had worse," he promises, breathing deep and letting himself simply be surrounded by his lover.

[thegentlemanthug]

"I wish you'd never have the like again," Bennet says fervently, kissing his Matthew's forehead.

"Rest easy, now. I'm here."