RS/These streets are in your marrow

[thegentlemanthug]

After he pulls the man from the river, Ben feels uneasy in his mind, moreso than when he was first lucid after his beating. He had the opportunity to know his past, and he walked away. He is a coward as well as a friend to wretches.

He is returning from an errand in town for the dockmaster, his face apparently trustworthy despite his lack of memory, when he realises he has gone too far on the underground railway. He gets off at the wrong stop and means to return immediately to the right one, except that he knows this place. He knows it deeply and strongly, calling to him with a strong sense of who he is.

Either he can ignore it once more or he can follow it, step out from under this cowardice and learn something of who he is. And maybe he can find out the fate of that drowned man, learn something of him, know his pain and soothe it.

He lets his feet take him where they will, trying to follow his gut and not his better sense. He feels the familiarity in the streets, recognising a street sign there, a flower seller there, and his pace quickens as he draws towards somewhere he knows must be home.

The door calls to him and he runs to it, knocking hard on the wood before he can stop himself.

It opens on an older lady in an apron and, before she can speak, he tears his hat from his head and starts trying to explain himself.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, madam, but I had the strangest feeling I ought to come here today."

Comments

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet feels his cheeks heating, a blush spreading from his cheeks to his neck in its intensity.

"I feel like a shy maid," he confesses.

[thirstforvice]

"Will you let me undress you?" Matthew offers a compromise.

[thegentlemanthug]

Now they have come to it, Bennet is shy even of this. But he holds his nerve, eyes on Matthew's questing fingers.

"Yes," he breathes. "Please."

[thirstforvice]

The task isn't easy, with Matthew unable to stand unaided, but he is nothing if not adept at getting people naked. He unwraps Bennet from his clothing like the most precious of gifts, fingers reacquainting themselves with bare skin, the feel reassuring him that this is all real. This is his Bennet come home to him.

[thegentlemanthug]

The touch is familiar, a ritual dance, and Bennet breathes easier as he loses more and more of his clothing.

"You've done this before," he says, half-teasing.

[thirstforvice]

"A thousand times," Matthew agrees, not stopping until his lover is as naked as he is.

"Now, will you look at me?"

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet finally looks up and into Matthew's eyes.

"I see you," he says, and kisses him.

[thirstforvice]

Matthew is so stunned he freezes. He was not sure whether he'd ever get another kiss from this man, had been debating whether or not it was something he should initiate or not. And then, as ever, his Benny went and solved all his worrying for him.

He kisses back before Ben has a chance to stop, hands finding his lover's sides and gripping desperately.

[thegentlemanthug]

His mind may be lagging, but his body knows Matthew completely. Bennet brings him closer, devouring his mouth, filled to the brim with lust.

[thirstforvice]

Though he wishes for the kiss never to end, Matthew is nevertheless the one to pull back, gasping for breath. He is acutely aware that his system is full of sedative drugs, dulling everything, and as such his body will not respond to Bennet in the way his mind wants. He breaks away to save himself the embarrassment, should Bennet try and take things further.

"The bath will not stay warm forever," he points out.

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet pulled back, regarding his lover uneasily.

"I do something wrong?"

[thirstforvice]

"No," Matthew shakes his head. "No, nothing at all." He kisses Bennet again to prove his point.

"I'm just aware I've not seen a proper bath for months, 'nd even though you call me unwashed on the best of days, I'm aware that I really am that right now."

[thegentlemanthug]

"You're in need of rest," Bennet says, sure that no matter the cause of his lover's reticence, he should take the hint and let him be.

"Let's get you to the bath."

[thirstforvice]

"'d normally be all over you by now," Matthew agrees, ashamed by his sickness. "Guess neither of us are quite ourselves right now."

He doesn't resist the help through to the kitchen and the waiting bathtub.

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet carefully assists Matthew into the bathtub, making sure he's sat comfortably before contemplating the small space.

"You sure I'll fit?"

[thirstforvice]

"Unless you've grown since last you were here," Matthew laughs and scoots himself forward, giving Bennet as much space as possible.

"We've done this a thousand times, darlin', trust me."

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet does as he's instructed and, while it's close quarters, he fits comfortably against his Matthew.

On instinct, he cups some water in his hand and reaches up to pour it gently over his lover's hair.

[thirstforvice]

"Every time..." Matthew half groans, half laughs, rubbing the water from his eyes and leaning back against Bennet's chest.

"You do that every single time."

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet reaches for the soap and lathers up his lover's matted hair.

"I think...I need to take care of you."

[thirstforvice]

"You always do, Benny," Matthew smiles despite the soap running down his face.

"'nd always will, I've no doubt."

[thegentlemanthug]

With the greatest of care, Bennet washes the soap from his lover's hair, taking care to avoid his eyes. It's soothing and his hands remember the sensations, his mind lost in the rhythm and unable to doubt the rightness of this moment.

[thirstforvice]

Matthew rests more and more of his weight against Bennet's chest as his lover continues to wash his hair, any lingering tension at the strangeness of their situation disappearing in the familiarity of wet fingers in his hair, and the exhaustion in his bones.

"We can go to Leman Street..." he muses out loud, voice slurring as he tries desperately not to fall asleep where he sits in the water. "Tomorrow, maybe. See what you remember there."

[thegentlemanthug]

The street name is familiar, but he can't quite grasp what's important about it.

"What's at Leman Street?" he asks.

[thirstforvice]

"Work," Matthew is too tired to provide extra words where they are not vitally necessary.

[thegentlemanthug]

Bennet nods to himself, fingers massaging Matthew's scalp.

"Could we stay here tomorrow?" he asks. "I want to remember our...our home."